Aeryn's Quest
by Elf Princess1
Summary: A pointless fic I wrote while high on fish tank water ^_^ It is about Aeryns quest to find out what a woody is...If I get a lot of flames, zhats OK


What's a Woody

Aeryn's Quest

By Fae

Aeryn Sun and John Cricthon sat in the local bar. Their other crewmembers had sent them down to get more food cubes.

"How come they always send us?" Aeryn asked through a mouth full of actual food.

"Don't know. Maybe cuz were cute." John responded.

"Humans scare me." Aeryn muttered, throwing a look of curiosity at John. They continued to eat and watch the many species of aliens' walk by. 

A strange looking lady walked up to them. They stopped eating and stared at her, waiting for her to speak.

"Yeah, what ya want?" John asked.

"Welcome, to my planet. I hope you like the food?"

"Considering that we lived on food cubes and crackers for the last four monens, it's ok, I guess." Aeryn continued eating and staring at the lady.

"My name is Gouana. I am the ruler of this planet. You come from the flowers?"

"Huh?" John and Aeryn said at the same time.

"The flowers. The bright lights in the sky at night."

"They're called stars Go-Anna. If you're going to call them something, call them by their real name."

"Okay then. You will bring your ship to me, and we will load cargo on it."

"Listen. We are here to get food for our crew, and that's it. Okay? We're not going to allow you to put your dren into our cargo bay and pollute our ship." Aeryn snapped, standing up. John sighed and stood up as well. The woman walked off.

"She gives me a woody."

John turned and stared at his companion. She saw his expression and hastily explained.

"It's a human expression, I've heard you use it when you're scared, or freaked out, or worried…"

"Willies Aeryn. Willies. She gives me the willies. Not woody."

"So what's a woody?" 

John winced. "I'll explain when you're older."

****

TWO SOLAR DAYS LATER

"John Crichton!" John turned slowly. Aeryn looks pissed, he thought. Aeryn cornered John and got very close to his face. "Tell me, what. Is. A Woody?"

"I said when you're older." Aeryn stomped her foot.

"I am two days older! Tell… me… NOW!!!!!!!!" John winced.

"Go ask D'argo."

"But I want to-" He cut her off.

"Go ask Dargo!" Aeryn nodded meekly and walked off.

"What a prick." She muttered.

"I heard that!" Aeryn shot down the hall way in search of Dargo.

"Hey Dargo."

"Hello Aeryn."

"Listen, do you know what a woody is? John won't tell me." She sighed and leaned up against the wall, her arms crossed.

"Is it one of his human terms?"

"Yeah." Dargo shook his head.

"Go ask Pilot. Maybe he or Moya know." Aeryn sighed and headed off towards Pilot's chambers. _I sure hope he knows!_

"Come in Officer Sun." Aeryn walked in. She looked quite at home n Pilot's quarters. "Dargo told me you wanted to ask me and Moya something?"

"Yeah. Do you know what a woody is?"

"It is not in my vocabu-"

"What about Moya?"

"SHE'S A SHIP!! DO YOU EXPECT HER TO KNOW CRICHTON'S TERMS?????"

"No." Aeryn's voice was more of a squeak than anything else. Pilot sighed.

"I am sorry. Go ask Zhaan." Aeryn nodded and once again continued on her quest.

"Hello Aeryn."

"Hey Zhaan. Do you know what a woody is?"

"I am sorry my dear, but I have no idea. Ask John."

"I did, but he won't tell me."

"Oh. Try Chiana. She might know." Aeryn turned and left the priest's chambers.

"Hey Aeryn. Have you seen Rygel? He stole some of my food." Chiana smiled bleakly.

"He was in the terrace, eating. Do you know what a woody is?"

"Don't know." A piece of wood magically appeared in her hand. "A piece of wood? Thanks for the tip off on Ryg. Good luck on our quest!"

"Thanks, I guess."

Aeryn stomped down the hallway. She heard John's terrible singing in the showers and headed there. _Does no one on this ding dang gone fat ship know what a woody is except John?_ She opened the door.

"John what is a!" She stopped abruptly and her eyes suddenly became larger than Sailor Moon's on a bad day. John was standing there in nothing but his boxers.

"You know Aeryn. This is really starting to annoy me. You want to know what a woody is huh? Well here you go!" He ripped off his boxers and Aeryn's eyes got even bigger (if that's possible). The others walked in.

"So Aeryn. Did you!" Dargo stopped. "John why are you naked?" John looked down and felt his cheeks start to burn. He sat down very quickly.

"John. What is a woody?" Chiana asked, tilting her head to one side.

"Fine! FINE! A woody is an intense feeling of sexual pleasure." He wasn't going to tell them what it really was. He may be inferior, but he was still smart.

"That's what this was all about? Sexual pleasure? Whatever." Chiana and the others left. Aeryn walked up to John and smiled.

She leaned over and kissed his cheek. "You give me a woody."

The End

The next story… Aeryn's quest to find out what a Mojo is! 


End file.
